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Authenticity

I think authenticity has gotten a bad rap! It‘s been pre-empted by lots of egos running around wanting to make sure that they are “seen” and “known” and that we hear “their truth”. “Hey, you know, I‘m just speaking my truth. I feel compelled to share MY truth. No, I can‘t do that it wouldn‘t be, you know, “AUTHENTIC”. It‘s just not ME.”

There‘s lots about MY authenticity and how I can‘t be around YOUR authenticity because it‘s different from MINE. It‘s not AUTHENTIC for me to do that or be there because it is not LIKE ME; or like my concept or understanding of ME, of who ME is. Authenticity winds up looking like it is self absorbed, totally “me” focused. That‘s not what I mean by authenticity.

In my experience authenticity is a process of opening to our most resonate center. There is mystery and magic in authenticity. Authenticity EXPANDS us, it doesn‘t contract us. It returns us to our natural and innate intelligent and wholeness.

Authenticity is about learning to embrace the whole of us; to be inspired to explore the vast continent of our inner landscape. Not so that we can have it mapped and defined, not so that we KNOW ourselves and carefully which parts are “good” and which parts are “not”. Instead the exploration is about reclaiming all the parts of ourselves and including the full glory of what it is to be human in all of its many manifestations.

We get to fall in love with the MYSTERY of ourselves; as opposed to the DEFINITION of ourselves.

Now this is a healing journey and in my own personal experience, it is the journey of a lifetime. One the other hand, it‘s quite simple: our most authentic and resonant selves are THERE, waiting for us to dive in and explore.

Tell us about your authenticity. KKH

  • I'm currently reading 'The Power of Kindness:The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life' by Piero Ferrucci - it's a powerful book! One of the things I think sometimes gets left out of personal development work that stresses authenticity and being real is about kindness and compassion. There is sometimes a feeling I pick up on when I'm in certain circles that being kind isn't seen as authentic as being grumpy or inconsiderate!

  • karenkh

    Well, I know for me being kind ISN"T as authentic as being grumpy. . .when I'm feeling grumpy. Doesn't mean I should just grump around though or that I'm a better person if I do. Sometimes I have to kind of REACH for kindness. ...like in the yoga example above. . . . .work my way there or something.

    I think the trouble comes when we evaluate either one as better than the other. Kindness is namby pamby. Grumpiness is unenlightened. People get stuck in either one.

    I've seen some "kind" people. ....WHoooo. . .they were so ANGRY underneath that smile. And I've seen some real grumps who were just hinding from their tender hearts.

    I think both things just ARE. .. .it's what we do with and about these states that changes our impact.

  • jennet

    Authenticity is awakening the True Self. In this world of "putting on a good face", there's so much pressure to be your pretend self. I feel lucky to have permission to be authentic at my work place. It's not always the case somewhere else.

    I'm not sure how to deal when I see someone saying they are being their authentic selves when it's their ego that is driving them to push an agenda that is hurtful, rather than pointing to something that is truthful.

  • karenkh

    Ego is such an. . .illusion? I can't quite find the right word. ..the nemesis of authenticity. I guess we think we are getting ahead somehow by being "professional".

    I love what you say about authenticity being awakening to the true self. . ..I think I'll spend the rest of my life in that journey!

  • anthonyeldridgerogers

    Hi Karen,

    I see authenticity more as an outcome or expression of being actualised. Being in the world and ourselves in a center that is neither clinging on or pushing away, a space where all is accepted and forgiven in every instant, then everything is. Authenticity is present then.
    It cannot be 'put on' as a garment as it is not an external.
    Much of the 'I am just being me' approach to authenticity is still driven from a shadow place of control and manipulation of the world. Of course this matters not really as it is a stage and it passes. Dropping all the 'stuff' is the best way back to the center and once there you don't have to strive for anything.
    Thank you...

    Anthony Eldridge Rogers

  • karenkh

    Hi Anthony:

    I agree. ..it's the striving and trying to "get it right" that takes us away from our center. My yoga teacher taught me a big distiction between challenging and striving. In challenging myself, I was reaching INTO the pose, INTO the stretch, expanding into it. In striving I was trying to get somewhere. ..my hands behind my knees, my palms on the floor, some such thing. I think this applies to authenticity too. It is the striving to GET to something that is where we are not that robs us of our authenticity. In yoga, there's a whole universe to explore in each pose. ..same with us. . .a universe to explore in each moment.

    Love,

    Karen

  • waynepeacock

    Karen,
    I found this blog tonight while exploring the CTI site for the first time in awhile. Hi and Hugs! Leadership lives with me daily and hourly.
    I will use your yoga teachers distinction this week in my coaching and other endeavors as it is easy to follow.
    bye

  • carriekish

    I love how you make the distinction between true authenticity and definining ourselves in order to nurture the good and exclude the "not". I attended Sam House's talk at the ICF Conference about embracing our polarities and I am seeing this as the pathway to true authenticity. It is, like you say, about the mystery or who I am, instead of the definition of who I am. I just love that! I love giving myself permission to truly be myself even when it doesn't make sense and even when it's totally incongruent. That is what I am exploring this year.

    Love,
    Carrie
    www.CarrieKish.com

  • karenkh

    Hi Carrie:

    I think it's almost always congruent to be yourself! Love,

    Karen

  • sunnyhills

    Wonderful Blog, Karen!
    Thanks for posting about it on Facebook ... so I could take a peek.

    Personally, I've never been able to get on the "authenticity" bandwagon.

    Why would we name such a thing about ourselves or others - like it's a THING?
    Just doesn't make sense to me.

    NOT criticizing others who use this term.
    Fine if it really means something to You, but it sounds like jargon to me. Therefor "tired" and devoid of meaning.

    There are so many other words and phrases in the English language to REALLY express the subtleities of each unique person and/or situation.

    Why use this tired ... dull ... "loaded" ... inarticulate ... overused ... under-thought ... "crutch" ... of a word?

    Just my 2 cents.
    Thank You for the starter thought and the forum You have here.

    Your Heart is SO BIG & So Warm, Karen.
    I Just Love YOU -- or my memory of YOU, since it's been so long :)

    Wishing You, Henry & the Rest of Your Family A Wonderful Christmas & Holiday Season, from Maui, Hawaii.

    ~Sunny HIlls, Maui :)

  • karenkh

    Wow! Christmas in Hawaii! Thank you for you kind thoughts sunny. I think you are. .. sunny that is!

    Love,

    Karen

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