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Designing Others
“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There really is nothing new under the sun. Back in 1790, it seems as if Goethe had a pretty good handle on things.
We are, in fact, the center of our universe and the choices that we make create and design our experience in the most tangible ways. Thus we are the authors of our own life.
Goethe‘s closing point is quite profound. It underlines the essence of one of Co-Active Coaching‘s Cornerstones: that people are “naturally creative, resourceful and whole.” I find that when I relate to clients from this cornerstone, it is the naturally creative resourceful and whole human being who comes to the conversation.
Since polar bears EAT huskies, what assumptions might the husky and the polar bear have of each other?
When I had the privilege of delivering coach training inside a Federal Prison, I worked with criminal men who had done bad things, some of them very bad. The men believed that they WERE bad through and through. When we interacted with them through the lens of naturally, creative, resourceful and whole, that‘s who showed up in our classrooms. Their crimes did not define them totally.
Yes, their law breaking activities became a PART of who they were but not ALL of who they were. There was a creative, resourceful and whole being living inside each one. Because we insisted on interacting with that part of them, that part blossomed forward in the most amazing ways.
We create and design our lives and affect the people in them according to our assumptions and perspectives. I see evidence of this over and over again. I‘d love to hear your experiences around this topic both to the positive and the contrary. You‘re always welcome to disagree with me. I look forward to the conversation so please use the comment link below.
KKH
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