Reactivating Curiosity
With Karen Kimsey-House traveling for two weeks, we‘ve asked Henry Kimsey-House to guest post to the Transforum Blog.
Getting up and heading to the pool is feeling much more natural and, dare I say it, part of my life now. I usually get an errand or two in while I am in town and then come home and take a shower, have some breakfast and meditate (not necessarily in that order) and then come up here and write a bit (except for yesterday, when I did a whole bunch of chores and errands and skipped the sitting at the computer part- which is probably a good practice to get into at least once a week anyway).
Hmmm, let's see here.
I am going to try to do an experiment today here in this blog entry that I am writing on a Sunday. Sunday is always a pretty low volume day in terms of readers, because most of you have lives that actually want something else of you on a Sunday then sitting around and checking into my blog, good for you. So here is the experiment; last week when I was at CTI having an interesting conversation with the sales team about curiosity, the goddess of computer networks and websites visited me and asked me to make an entry or two to the CTI blog while Karen was away at Black Lodge. I thought that would be hard as I had all these other writing commitments I had made to mySelf and others already. She said maybe they would be able to combine in some way. I was skeptical because my personal blog is really designed as a way for me to grow my consciousness and CTI‘s blog is supposed to be used to keep pointing the conversation of co-active coaching in the world. One blog is designed to look inwards and one is designed to look outwards. So off I skeptically went, only of course my little mind started working on what ifs, could I really write something that was both? Then I let my consciousness grow to include all that was going on that Thursday. I was having another day of consciousness and integration in my program and I was down at CTI having a great conversation about curiosity and while I was in the meeting the entire staff at CTI put up balloons and got a cake out to wish me a happy birthday. I felt like a kid with all these great smiling faces around me singing happy birthday and balloons falling from the ceiling. Sure I could write about something.
Curiosity – The fountain of youth. What‘s the difference between the walking dead adults that many of us are in our day to day lives and the bursting with aliveness, unstoppable until they fall over in a heap, 3 year olds? Curiosity. What‘s the difference between a conversation with a client or a customer that is the same old same old and an alive, vital and successful call with that same person? You guessed it already, probably, because our minds are set up like that. They leap ahead and put the answer there that experience has shown us will in all probability be there, no need for curiosity when it is already known. Every time we do that, every time we make an assumption or create a belief or knowing that something will happen or someone will be a certain way we remove all possibility for wonder and surprise and aliveness. And yet it is so automatic for us in fact this knowing what will happen and who will be this way or that way actually serves us in many many ways. It also kills much of our ability to be in relationship with who or what is truly in front of us. We end up being in relationship with all of our assumptions and beliefs and knowings about things and people instead of with the thing or person that is right there in front of us. When curiosity dies so does our ability to truly be in relationship with another. Without curiosity we end up aging, alone and bitterly smart about the way of the world. If we are able to truly and deeply reawaken our genuine curiosity we are headed down a road that is filled with vitality, aliveness, youthful spirit, intimacy and authentic connection with others.
What's in here? Can I fit? Who made this?
So how do we reactivate our curiosity? Good question. One way is to live in a universe of questions, where you don‘t always have the answer. Another way is to live in a universe where you aren‘t attached to the answers you have because there may be a better one in the next moment. Another way is to tell the truth to yourself and to those you are in relationships with when you are in the midst of assumptions and the rut of knowing what is coming next, tell on yourself, smile and ask what you missed while you were in the middle of knowing everything. You know my acting teacher Bill Esper said it best to me years ago, he was talking about actors and I know that it applies to all of us human beings, he said:
“A great actor (human) is fascinated with EVERYTHING.”
Imagine walking around life being completely fascinated by it. Imagine walking around life in wonder with all that you see, touch, hear, smell and taste. Captured by the question as to the real nature of that person in front of you or that piece of food on your plate or that tree by the side of the road or that same old building that you have passed a bazillion times on your way to work. To truly return to that childlike awe and wonder that we knew when we were 3 with the world we live in now. Now that is Curiosity. Curious about how curious you are?
HKH
Transformation and Co-Active Coaching
As the New Year unfolds, I’ve been thinking about the truly remarkable nature of co-active coaching. Even as I write this post, co-active coaches from around the world are working in global corporations and small businesses, in education and in the legal field, coaching people to reach for a greater expression of themselves and to live lives of authenticity, intimacy and response-ability. Co-actively trained teachers are bringing unfettered curiosity into the classroom. Parents are listening deeply to their children and asking them powerful questions rather than telling them what to do all the time. Managers are designing their alliances with direct reports. Couples are creating a shared vision for the future.
As 2010 unfolds, it’s clear to me that it’s time to stand firmly for the transformative nature of co-active coaching. Over and over again, I hear from others. . .those who employ coaches, those who teach coaches additional models and skills, those who use coaches. . .that co-active coaches generally stand out from the crowd. What is it that makes co-active coaching so special?
â?¢ Co-active coaching is committed to creating change agents in human consciousness. Co-active coaching focuses at the level of core identity–who people are and how they perceive and interact with their world. We believe that whatever their walk of life, people long to evolve as human beings and continually grow towards more expansive, aware and integrated ways of being in the world.
â?¢ Co-active coaching is committed to change that is transformative, rather than incremental. Co-active coaching creates leaps in awareness that open up new possibilities in dramatic ways for people. We believe that when people are able to let go of restrictive ways of viewing themselves and the world, they discover more authentic, creative and resourceful ways of creating fulfilling lives and vibrant workplaces.
â?¢ Co-Active Coaching operates holistically, encompassing heart, mind, body and spirit in both themselves and their clients. We believe that human beings are much more than a collection of parts and when a person is able to move forward in an integrated way, all manner of solutions and opportunities arise that were not visible from the different parts.
â?¢ Co-Active coaching puts interrelationship at the center of every interaction, understanding that coaching is a co-created process and that results are always more rich when created together. We believe that interrelationship is at the center of all that we do as humans and when we open to the interrelationship that always exists, the range of creative opens as well.
CTI and the co-active coaching model is one of many bodies of work thriving in the world today. I love the feeling that we are not alone and see CTI as a part of a large orchestra, playing together to empower human kind. Maybe CTI is the violin section or maybe we are the flutes. Whatever our part, may we play it with gusto, with passion, with commitment, with joy and above all, with gratitude.
March 6th, 2010 by Coaches Training Institute | CommentsSubscription Options:
