Chicago!

I had such fun as the guest speaker at the Chicago Coaches Federation on June 14th! What a vibrant, intelligent, excitable, visionary group of people there in Chicago. I connected with people who had been in coaching classes that I taught in Chicago back in 1988 and met several people who had just completed the Core Curriculum the previous weekend. Old friends, new friends and lots in between.

I was warmly greeted by Ben Dooley the CCF President. Julie Colbrese, CTI‘s fantastic Chicago Ambassador made sure I had everything I needed.

Karen, Helen and Jeanny

Best of all I got to spend the afternoon with BOTH of my sisters in law; the fabulous Helen House and Jeanny House. Helen has been leading courses for CTI since the very beginning and Jeanny is beginning Certification in the Fall.

When Jeanny becomes a CPCC, every single one of Henry’s FOUR siblings will be Co-Active Coaches. Three work for CTI. Isn‘t that amazing?

I quite like speaking in front of people. It‘s a whole different experience than working with a small group (as in CTI classes or the Leadership Program). It‘s sort of like leading on steriods. . .every phrase has an impact and there is an alertness that is incredibly energizing.

It‘s also a little vulnerable. . .to stand up in front of a group of 80 plus people and imagine that you have something to say. So, it was wonderful to be so warmly received. Thank you Chicago Coaches and I look forward to a return visit soon.
KKH

Ashland

Henry and I just returned from our annual pilgrimage to Ashland, Oregon where we go every year to saturate ourselves in terrific live theater. Henry and I were both working actors at one point, so we love live theater.

We are passionate supporters of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival which has garnered our well earned respect by being sufficiently insane to perform 11 plays per season in “repertory” or rep (many plays alternating at one time) versus “stock” (one show at a time in sequence).

If you stop for a moment to consider the dizzying challenges of repertory, you can see that it makes terrible business sense. First you need to have multiple theaters. OSF has three and they are each a gem. The Angus Bower Theater which seats about 350 is a glorious design. There is truly not a bad seat in the house and it has loads of set and staging flexibility. The New Theater is a small “black box” theater and seats about 150. In this theater the audience configuration moves so that staging can be in the round, three sided, stadium and probably other configurations no one has thought of yet. The Elizabethan Theater seats about 1,500 and is an exact replica of Shakespeare‘s Black Swan Theater in London.

Next you need brilliant set designers who can figure out how to create sets that are stunning, varied and set the stage for a particular play AND. . .(this is a big and) can be changed or “turned over” in an afternoon or morning. The set designers of OSF are astonishing and the set design at OSF enchants the audience even before the play has begun.

Then you need a company of gifted actors like Dan Dohonue who redefined the role of Hamlet at a 2 p.m. matinee and had us laughing uproariously as a stuffy waiter in that evening‘s performance of the musical “She Loves Me”. Can you imagine the range, talent and just plain stamina that it would take to accomplish this?

Finally you need an Executive Director with strong vision and real dedication to the art and craft of live theater and Bill Rauch, the Executive Director at OSF is one of the best.

Each season must be carefully and strategically planned. Which five Shakespearean plays? Which new plays? An American classic or a Chekhov? A musical this year and if so, which one? What talent is available in the coming season to create magic in so many different ways? Talented directors, gifted new playwrights, committed dramaturges. . .somehow it all comes together season after season and Henry and I are treated to a full week (9 plays in 7 days) of live theater. Year after year, OSF delivers.

The love affair between the company and its audiences is legendary. About 60% of OSF‘s operating budget is supported by a vast network of donors, large and small and I am proud to say that I belong to that network of people who put their money where their mouth is to support live theater.

So, okay, I‘m enthusiastic. I LOVE OSF. I think you have the picture.

I won‘t go into all the plays we saw when we were there last week. You can see Henry‘s blog for that. I do however want to tell you about seeing Merchant of Venice in the pouring rain.

Now Merchant is not one of my all time favorite plays. . .“The quality of mercy is not strained” and all of that and I‘ve seen the anti-semitic theme played up, played down and flat out ignored. Also the weather forecast was for rain, most definitely.

The Elizabethan Theater when it is NOT raining.

Just like the Black Swan in the U.K., most of the Elizabethan theater is outside so rain can be kind of a problem.  As you can see from the photo, if it rains, the stage, the actors and over half the audience is going to get wet.  However, we had tickets to go see this particular play and were not going to be deterred by something as insignificant as a poor weather forecast.

Because we are donors (and plan ahead) we get terrific seats, consistently right down in front where we can see all the action. So we took our seats, front and center for The Merchant of Venice as the wind came up and the black clouds began to roll in.

The flag was lifted, the house lights went down and the play began. The actors had not spoken two lines when it began to rain. . .not a misty kind of “sprinkle” and not a downpour. . .just steady r-a-i-n. Through the first act of the play there was a steady attrition of audience members who understandably decided that they preferred to watch outdoor theater when it was NOT raining.

By intermission perhaps half the audience remained and the bulk of those were up in the dry seats. Down in the front, we were all quite wet. A sort of “come hell or high water” spirit had overtaken all of us out there in the rain. If the OSF company could PERFORM in the rain, we were going to by God STAY and watch them do it.

So, we settled in underneath a wild assortment of rain gear, blankets and plastic garbage bags to watch the remainder of the play. The audience got wetter by the minute as did the actors as they finished out 3 hour and 45 minutes performance.

In the last 10 minutes of the play, the heavens truly opened and as if to underline the finish to an amazing evening. . .it POURED. By the curtain call, there was so much rain that it was running off the stage in little rivers. The actors splashed through puddles as they came out for the curtain call looking chilled, bedraggled and quite triumphant.

The performance was completely brilliant. I would have sat through a snowstorm to watch it. Although I‘ve seen more than a few performances of Merchant and studied the play quite a bit I‘ve never really understood it until that evening. Anthony Heald created a totally believable and unique Shylock. Vilma Silva was clear, clear grounded and lovely as Portia. I could go on.

The audience went completely berserk doing the curtain call. . .understandable of course that we had to express our respect, downright LOVE and admiration of the cast for the incredible performance the cast had just delivered. . .in the rain.

What made the whole experience memorable for all time however was that the CAST went nuts too. We all stood there in the rain, applauding each other wildly. laughing and whooping and blowing kisses at each other for several minutes which is extremely unusual for any curtain call at Ashland. . .particularly one in the pouring rain. Audience and performers came together in one big whoo hoo celebration of theater, humanity and love, co-creators in an unforgettable, shared experience.

Then we all made our soggy way home for a cup of hot tea or a warm brandy and lots of great post theater chit chat.

I‘m so grateful for the week that I spent and every single gem of a play that I experienced. Many were truly transformational. However this evening had me savor and celebrate. It reminded me of who I WAS and just why I love theater so much.
KKH

Bowling!

Last week, we had the second Annual CTI Bowling Night. That‘s right. Bowling. At the FIRST Annual CTI Bowling Night, I bowled a 5. No, not per frame. I knocked down 5 pins in the WHOLE GAME becoming something of a legend in my own time. As the bartender at the bowling alley observed, “Gee, that‘s so bad, it‘s good”.

Karen getting ready to bowl a strike!

So off I went to our second annual CTI bowling party prepared to have a blast. Many jokes around the office about how I would be going for a personal best of TEN!

To everyone‘s surprise, I bowled fairly well…Over 100 both times. I actually WON a game. Now, those scores won‘t win me any trophies. Still they were a pretty astonishing improvement over my previous game.

Folks asked me what was different. Had I read up on bowling? Researched technique? Been practicing a lot? Nope. What was different? Well, I stopped throwing to the left. In my first game, I put every ball (except 4 of course) in the left gutter. And in this recent evening of bowling, I didn‘t. I don‘t KNOW how that happened. It sort of felt like my right arm (my bowling arm) went: “ohhhhhh. I get it! I‘m supposed to throw STRAIGHT”…and did so.

We worry and fret so much about things that are working or going the way they “should”. I wonder how many of life‘s little challenges are like my bowling arm…they only need a little time and spaciousness until eventually the problem or issue goes, “Ohhhhhh. I get it! Straight is what is needed.”

I wonder how much all that worrying and fretting actually GETS IN THE WAY of what is trying to happen easily and naturally!
KKH

CTI staff celebrating their bowling prowess.

Every Day is Saturday

It‘s Saturday and I‘m hanging out at the local Starbucks with Henry. What is it about Saturday? People dress differently, act differently. Everybody seems happier on a Saturday. Did you ever notice that? And on a SUNNY Saturday…one where the sunbeams dance through the window and paint everything a honeyed gold…well oh my. People seem ready to BURST with joy and aliveness. Here in my little Starbucks, they are having a swell time, hanging out in line and schmoozing with each other, joking and teasing and goofing around. Even the Baristas are getting into the swing and having a ball as well. What is it about Saturday that allows room for this level of play? Is it because it‘s not a “work” day?

I wonder what would happen if we played EVERY day? Imagine approaching MONDAY with this kind of ease, joy, lightness. Or God forbid, a WEDNESDAY! How about hanging loose on Wedensday? Or, gee, why not. ..EVERY DAY of the week?

We are so very important, with so many, many important things to do. What would change if we let go a little and goofed around? Do we REALLY think the world would stop turning or life as we know it would come to a screeching halt? Do we even think that we would get all that much less done?

Nah. I don‘t think so. I think we just forget. We get all tangled up…all caught up in our important, important to dos and forget to look around, breathe and goof off a little. Smile and laugh and SEE the people in our world. Gosh I know I do…forget that is. Okay…I‘m going to hold a new practice for myself for a least a week. It‘s a tough one but I think I can manage. I‘m going to make sure that I goof around AT LEAST five times a day. You heard it here folks. “Where‘s Karen?”  Oh she‘s over there goofing around!
KKH

Performance Reviews and Transformation

I‘ve resisted performance reviews at CTI for years. I thought that the structure was too confining!! Much to my surprise, however, I‘ve come to love doing performance reviews. I‘ve discovered that it can be such an important time to pull up and celebrate accomplishments over the past 12 month period. To look at the accumulation of what has happened, what is complete and not and what direction or pointing I have for the person moving forward.

We‘ve done a fair amount of work on our performance review process here at CTI and at present, it feels good to me…structured enough to provide clear direction and set objectives for the coming review period, spacious enough to include the uniqueness of the particular human being that is being reviewed.

Yesterday, I did a performance review with one of my executive team. Of course, she had accomplished a lot. She is incredibly productive and competent. What was more potent, however, than her accomplishments, was who she had become. The past year in her department has been very, very challenging. It was incredible to be able to walk through the whole of the year together and see clearly how each challenge had shaped and grown her. How she really was a different woman, a different leader out of the difficulty of this time.

Much as we long for those “dog days” of ease, it is the fire that hones and shapes us; that has us grow and evolve. As a result of this review, I saw how this beautiful woman was standing in a new place of self-respect and power. Of course I was aware of her “becoming” and the fullness of it hadn‘t quite hit me until I sat down and went through her year accomplishment by accomplishment, challenge by challenge.

Everything that happens is an opportunity to create; to grow and develop ourselves. The events that are the most challenging also offer the most friction and therefore the most transformation.

I‘d love to hear about a recent challenge in your life. What did you “create” from it? How did it shape, grow, evolve you?
KKH

Intimacy

The second retreat in CTI‘s Leadership Program is called “Creating From Other”. It focuses on relationship, intimacy and the co-active dance.

Relationship is at the center of everything we do and are. We are created and BORN in relationship. We are in relationship with the person who fixes our car, takes our money at the toll booth and checks our luggage at the airport.

A chimp and a puma cub getting up close and personal.

Yet so much of the time, we move about in our own little bubble, only connecting when our body happens to bump up against another‘s. “Excuse me”. Pardon me for failing to make sure that I kept the illusion of separateness intact.

Right at the same time, people are longing for connection and intimacy. So, here we are, moving about in our illusion of separateness and always connected, always a part of the belonging that we seek.

It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite Rumi poems called “A Fresh Basket of Bread”.

“Mad with thirst, you can‘t drink from the stream running so close by your face. You‘re like a pearl on the deep bottom, wondering, inside your shell, Where‘s the ocean?”

We‘ve banished intimacy to the bedroom, to sex, and legislated touch beyond all understanding. Do you know that it is against the law for my sister, a second grade school teacher, to touch her students? They are SEVEN years old.

What is it that scares us so? That has us create this false distance and sense of separation? Are we really that afraid of being hurt? Of losing ourselves in co-dependency? Of being inappropriate or misunderstood?

Might it be a great idea to give things a chance and trust ourselves to navigate ensuing conversations for understanding? Wouldn‘t that open us to intimacy we are longing for?
KKH