Nobody Gets to be Wrong in Any Language

I’ve just returned from Tokyo, Japan and 10th Anniversary Celebration of CTI Japan. 240 people came from all over the country to participate in creating a new story. 

I remember the very first course we did in Tokyo in 2000. Henry was co-leading with Hide Enomoto and I hung out a lot in the back of the room because I was wildly curious to see how it would go. We’d never done our work in a different culture and Japan was certainly different. Would it translate? Henry would be working with translation. One person (his ear) would translate Japanese to English in an ear piece in Henry’s ear. Another translator (Henry’s mouth) would translate everything Henry was saying into Japanese. 

It seems like no big deal now but at the time we weren’t certain how it was going to go. However my brave hubby and the even more brave Hide Enomoto were going to give it their best. 

I walked into the class room and saw some Japanese characters on the flip chart in the front of the room and asked what it said. Chika (who has since become a dear friend) told me that it said “Nobody Gets to Be Wrong”. 

I burst into tears. It was so powerful for me. Nobody gets to be Wrong in Japanese, or in Chinese or Norwegian or Russian or any other language in the world. Nobody Gets to be Wrong in any language. 

Karen with dear friends Kyoko Seki and Chika Hasegawa.

It was wonderful to make new friends and connect with old ones. The photo is of me at the conference with two very near and dear friends, Chika—whom I mentioned in the paragraph above—and Kyoko, who was a participant in that first class in Japan and now leads our Co-Active Leadership Program in Japanese. Of course I was completely inspired by the vision and heart of my dear friend Hide Enomoto as well. It was a powerful 3 days and you can imagine how powerful it was for me to return to Japan 10 years after that first brave course and see how much the work has spread. 

The conference was simply amazing. We had group process, diads, triads, a World Cafe, Open Process Technology, a stunning video, post-its and flip chart paper for days. At the end of each day, they showed a video that was a compilation of shots from the day. . .REALLY well done! We felt the pain of the world and dug down for the love underneath. People declared, committed, conversed, collaborated and celebrated themselves and each other. 

An incredibly dedicated team of volunteers worked so hard to coordinate logistics and technology. I was so well cared for. . I think I had a whole team of folks whose sole job it was to be sure that I wanted for nothing and that I had a translator whenever I needed, which was most of the time. 

I couldn’t BEGIN to count the number of people who came to talk to me on breaks, in the bathroom line, before, after, during. In a wild mix of Japanese and English they absolutely HAD to tell me how much CTI had changed their life. It was truly wonderful to make new friends and connect with old ones. Generally I fell in love with everyone at the conference they were so beautiful, sincere, heartfelt and breathtakingly, heart achingly available. 

So that’s a little report from the front lines. Here in Japan, we are most definitely Changing Business and Transforming Lives.
KKH 

[See photos of the celebration on CTI's Facebook page.] 

[Related post: comments from Hide Enomoto about the 10th Anniversary Celebration.]

CTI Japan celebrates its 10th Anniversary

Writing for Transforum today is Hide Enomoto, a trail-blazer who was not afraid to take risks for the sake of achieving his vision to take Co-Active Coaching to non-English speakers. In 2000, Hide founded CTI Japan, which has become the most successful CTI business outside of North America.

Last weekend, CTI Japan celebrated its 10th Anniversary by hosting a 3-day event titled “Weaving a New Story.” Close to 250 people came to the event and it seems to have generated all sorts of emotions, from sheer inspiration to grudging discomfort not just in those who have participated, but also who were not able to be there. It’s like the event has created a ripple of energy that is beginning to spread across the whole Coaching community in Japan. And that was exactly our intent.

For years, I have been feeling that the Coaching community has become somewhat complacent. This is not just in Japan, but everywhere in the world. And when you become complacent, the growth stops as with everything else. We wanted to “rock the boat,” so to speak, so that we can break out of that complacency, to get out of the comfort-zone.

Hide Enomoto (right) speaking to Phil Sandahl and Karen Kimsey-House, who are listening to simultaneous translation.

Each of the 3 days we had a theme; Day 1 was about “Waking up to our Original Urge.” The question we posed was, “What brought you to Coaching in the first place?” “What kept you going?” Nobody came to Coaching looking for coaching. We all had some urge that eventually brought us to Coaching. Coaching is not the end, but the means to achieve what we set out to do.

Day 2 was about “Waking up to the World.” In order to weave a new story about coaching, I believe we need to be in touch with what’s happening in the world because it is a context that gives meaning to coaching. “Why Coaching now?” This is a question we have to keep asking ourselves. Otherwise, it will become ‘out of context’ and lose its ground in the rapidly changing world. We also looked at unconscious assumptions we as coaches hold about Coaching. This was a liberating experience for a lot of people.

Day 3 was about “Waking up to Our Mission.” The questions we asked ourselves were, “What is calling us?” “How can we respond to that call?” It is also my belief that those who came to coaching did not come to coaching just for the sake of it. What if we were all called to Coaching in order to achieve something larger together that would require things we learned through Coaching? What would that be?

As you can see, “Wake Up” is the key operating word here. As individuals, as coaches, as communities, as organizations, we need to stay awake and help others to stay awake so that we can continue to evolve, without falling into the trap of complacency. We need to stay awake in order to stay relevant to what’s happening in the world and actively participate in its evolution. I believe that Coaching, as a tool and as a profession, can play a much bigger and important role to keep all of us awake and evolve. It is my hope that this event has triggered something amongst the coaching community that will prompt them to bring out the best in coaching. We have just scratched the surface of what’s possible.

[See photos of the celebration on CTI's Facebook page.]

Co-Active Coaching in China

Last week, CTI did it‘s first Fundamentals course in Beijing. While it‘s exciting to be able to bring Co-Active Coaching to a new country, it‘s always a little scary too.

There‘s always a slight hesitation. . .will the model communicate? Will people from such a different culture be able to relate to what we are trying to say?

Yet in my heart, I always know it will be ok. There is something about the model of Co-Active Coaching that invites people to meet  beyond our differences in a place that is very real and very human. When it comes right down to it, we are not so different after all.

I believe that this is the essence of our contribution; to provide an environment for people to experience both their own uniqueness and also their interrelationship and connection to other people.

It is a language of the heart and with an occasional snag now and then, does a pretty good job of giving people an opportunity to connect to what is most important.

The Fundamentals in Beijing SOARED by the way, with leaders and participants alike leaving inspired and changed forever.

There‘s so much talk these days about ROI and how to make a business case for coaching. There is really good work being done in that arena and I‘m all for it. It‘s important to meet people where they are and to learn to talk about what we do in ways that everyone can understand.

At the same time, I think it we need  to remember that at it‘s best, Co-Active Coaching is about connecting people to that place of essence, of shared humanity that unites us all.

As that great credit card advertising series says “Improved job skills. . . X amount of value; professional opportunity. . .Y amount of value; being connected to one‘s own place in the family of things. . .priceless.”
KKH

Money

In my spiritual study at the Black Lodge I have become the point (sort of like a director) of the Finance Task Force. No small job, this. It has given me occasion to contemplate the whole idea of money and to examine my limiting beliefs on the subject.

To begin with, what is money? I mean really. . .we make such a kerfuffle about it. . .and what IS it. . .beyond just some paper with pictures of dead people on it (or living people in some cultures).

Perhaps at it‘s core, I see money as a way of exchanging energy. I work and get money. I exchange it for goods and services. Sometimes people GIVE me money, or I find it or am awarded it somehow. Everything is energy. So, money is a handy way of exchanging energy and it means we don‘t have to hassle a whole bunch about what our agreements are and such. That‘s handy, right? So how come money is such a problem?

However you slice it, money is a relatively simple thing. It really is. And, oh my goodness, what a mess we make of it. We‘ve allowed it to “stand in” for all kinds of things–like security and self-worth. We have it mean that some people are more valuable than others or more successful than others. How could money possibly the sole (and soul) measure of a human‘s value or success? And yet in a culture that places a premium on earning, owning, and having, it‘s a natural conclusion. As I think about it, it seems that so much of the myth of separateness is bound up in our ideas and beliefs about money.

That‘s not money‘s fault. I don‘t think there is a thing in the world wrong with money. It‘s what we have money MEAN and what we make up about it that is deeply flawed. Even the more New Age idea of abundance is somewhat out of balance. More than enough. Why does anyone need MORE than enough?? I‘m not talking about barely enough. . .holding on by your fingernails enough. I‘m talking about sufficient. Enough. Just the right amount.

The amazing and incredible Lynne Twist outlines the concept of sufficiency in her life changing book “The Soul of Money”. If you haven‘t read it, you absolutely must. You can get it on Amazon for $12.98 or used for five bucks. Do it now!

Back to money, I do understand that it‘s important to plan ahead. Squirrels and lots of other animals store food for the winter. . .for the time ahead when there will not be enough food. Come a cold winter, sad is the squirrel who has failed to do this. That said, when was the last time you saw a squirrel worrying about his portfolio? Or wondering what he or she would do in retirement?

We can learn lots from observing the natural world and that‘s the great thing about nature. Nature plans ahead. . .and JUST ahead. A squirrel puts up food for the NEXT winter. . .knowing that Spring will come and that there will be food again. No, that‘s not right. I think a squirrel puts up as much food as he or she can. However, the food will go bad by Winter after NEXT. I‘m after something here that I can‘t quite get my hands around. Can you help me?

For now, I want to say that our limiting beliefs hold the myth of separateness in place. And it may be that the whole of our infrastructure has to crumble for that deadly, life diminishing illusion to shrivel and die. So be it.

Whatever opens, whatever the unfolding story of life has in mind, the WHOLE is well served by each of us examining our limiting beliefs about money. Here are some of mine. What are yours?

I have a limiting belief that my inherent, instinctual trust in the goodness of life is misguided. That I will be caught up short. That I‘m being a fool. Unwise. Naive. Others have been wise and prudent and I‘ll be sorry that I did not plan more for. . .for a rainy day????? Dunno. . .something.

This one runs me still from time to time. . .there is a voice in me, my mother probably, that I must shoulder my “share” of the load. God forbid I should shirk my responsibilities or be caught malingering. Or “coast”. Nope. No coasting for us Kimseys. We are a proud and hard working lot!

There‘s nothing wrong with hard work. Actually I LIKE to work hard. . .I like it quite a lot. I‘m one of those who loves a challenge and sweat on my brow. However this limiting belief robs me even of that pleasure because I feel I must work HARD. Here‘s the insidious part. How hard? Harder than everyone else? Harder than the person next to me? Well, the belief is somewhat vague on these particulars, leaving me like a gerbil on a wheel, running in circles without any hope of completion or knowing that I can stop now because I‘ve done enough.

Makes me smile to think of this silly belief. It lives in such an “either or” universe as opposed to a “yes and” universe. . and yet it does dominate me from time to time.

I still can‘t QUITE make the link between desire and fulfillment. And does “having” relate? How? What is it to attain what I desire? Are the two things related? Not? Maybe not a limiting belief, just an area of confusion.

There are more. And that‘s enough for now. I‘d love to hear some of yours. I‘d love to open up this conversation about money so that light can get it.
KKH

Morning Practices

Well, I‘m delighted to report that I actually HAVE morning practices these days. That‘s right, folks. I‘ve successfully established a set of morning practices that I do on a consistent and regular basis almost every day.

This is a Very Big Deal for me as I‘ve been working to establish this foundation, this great start to my day for quite some time now. I notice that it really does make a big difference, starting my day off in this particular way, with a little meditation, a little yoga, a little physical activity and a little journaling. This actually surprises me–the difference that these morning practices have been making–which cracks me up, because I believe that’s the POINT.

So, hooray for me and morning practices. It‘s a great thing and I‘d highly recommend creating your own. There‘s absolutely no need to struggle as long as I did. You could just start doing a few things every morning –

As wonderful as morning practices are, I‘ve realized that we are practicing something all the time, every minute of our lives and our life does go in the direction of what we practice. Often what I am practicing is incredibly life giving like deep listening, pausing to find the stillness in each moment, being amazed by the beauty of the world, being responsible for my impact. Sometimes I practice things that are life diminishing like judgment, resentment and blame.

Our lives are shaped and formed by what we practice in the small moments. . .in ways large and small, we are either nourishing the sacred life within us or we are not. So establishing a set of Morning Practices that pleases us sets a baseline. . .lays down a foundation if you will of consciousness from which to create our day. Actually LIVING is the point! And when I am able to begin, to start from a place of grounded presence, the living of my day generally has more resonance and I spend more time practicing the life giving practices and less time on the life diminishing one.

I‘ll close my post with a clip from YouTube of an adorable little girl. Now this kid knows what morning practice is all about. It‘s less than a minute long. . .she‘s really efficient too!
KKH

 Or click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg