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The ‘Coactive’ Mystery
As a course leader for The Coaches Training Institute, Sam House travels globally to train individuals in the Co-active Leadership Model and the Co-active Coaching Model. As co-founder of Polarity Pathways, Sam coaches people and offers workshops emphasizing conscious awareness of emerging polarities in all situations. Sam is a Master Certified Coach and engages executives, professionals, and teams in the process of creating richness and meaning while reaching excellence.
Did you know that there is no formal definition of the word ‘coactive’? This is true, despite the fact that the coactive approach shapes a huge part of the coaching field and a growing part of the leadership development field.
Sometimes when I hear the term “coactive” used in conversation I cringe to think that people are using a term—often with an air of authority—which has no formal definition. Here is an example: “I can’t believe you made that decision without considering me (or, all of us). That is NOT very coactive!” This statement assumes there is mutual agreement about what this term means. It further suggests that one is in violation of its intent, even though no definition exists! As in the instance above, we sometimes use this term as a weapon to prove how much more ‘coactive’ we are than others, or as a battle scar to show how we have been mistreated by our peers who failed to follow the rules of coactivity.
Personally, I love the question “What does it mean to be coactive—as a coach, as a leader, as a human being?” I like the question much more than any narrow answer that would result in a clearer definition. There is a mystery here and I am more interested in EXPLORING the territory of what it means to be coactive than I am in KNOWING the territory of what it means to be coactive. Exploring keeps me open and present, while believing I know something can shut me down to learning more.
Along the coactive trail, I’ll bet we’d all agree that being coactive means that I am engaged with ‘other’, that I am not in isolation, figuring out life alone. The engagement with ‘other’ gives me a wider perspective and a richer opportunity to create solutions in my world, instead of thinking I have to face my world alone and make things happen myself. Perhaps most of us would agree with this much. After that, the trail may split off into different and smaller pathways which further explain what ‘coactive’ is, but about which we may not all agree.
Here are some pathways in the territory of the ‘coactive’ world that I am exploring. You may or may not agree with them:
- A coactive world is one where we are all deeply curious.
- It is a world where we understand and appreciate that we are human beings and not human doings.
- It is a world where we listen carefully to what is said, but where we also become skillful at reading the energetic—or the emotional—field between us and all around us.
- We appreciate the vital role of the heart, expressed through our ability to experience empathy and to deeply acknowledge another.
- Seeking agreement with another is not as important as identifying where we can find alignment with each other. There is more respect, versatility and freedom for all involved when we are seeking alignment.
- ‘Coactive’ does not mean everyone is equal in every situation. Rank and privilege is an important quality of every complex organization, be it a family, a non-profit, a corporation, or a government. There’s no getting around it: functioning organizations need some kind of hierarchical structure. Having said that, a coactive culture is one with much more flexibility and creativity than either a rigid and stratified hierarchical culture or a flat, purely consensus-oriented culture that lacks the ability to make decisions and move forward efficiently.
Here’s my invitation to you: Throw out any current definition of “coactive” that you might be carrying and become an explorer of this notion instead. Now, use your imagination, your intuition, and your experience of this term to inform how YOU can create a meaningful ‘coactive’ relationship with the world!
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