Happily, the research-evidence regarding the impact of coaching continues to grow. Because of that research, we know more and more about why coaching works, how it works, the real and perceived changes it makes in our clients’ lives and so forth. However, very few studies have been done on the coaches themselves. As part of our continuing research on the impact of Co-Active coaching, we sought to evaluate what it is that Certified Professional Co-Active Coaches (CPCCs) enjoy about coaching. It seems vital for the profession of coaching that we know how people choose coaching as a vocation, what they enjoy about it, and how they have developed their coaching practice. We adapted survey work done in 2004 (about ICF-accredited coaches) by Anthony Grant and Richard Zackon and recruited some 390 CPCCs from around the world to complete this revised survey-instrument. 351 CPCCs, primarily from the United States, Canada, and the UK, completed the 63-item questionnaire comprising factual, yes-no questions, frequency and extent rating scales, multiple-response alternatives, and open-ended questions.

Of immediate interest to us was the parallel finding from this study and the 2004 study revealing the extremely high (98.9% and 99.9% respectively) percentage of coaches who were trained in a prior professional background before becoming trained as a coach. Moreover, these coaches continue to coach clients even though the profession may not result in a large monetary reward. Thus, something attracts people from other professions to Co-Active coaching and keeps them involved whether full-time (still by far a minority of coaches) or in an adjunct capacity to another profession.

From the data collected from the CPCCs, we identified several important themes that emerged from our analysis. First and perhaps foremost, coaches credited helping clients transform their lives as one of the main reasons they enjoyed coaching. Whether it was challenging clients to help them meet their full potential, realizing their true mission in life, or witnessing their clients take responsibility for their own life, CPCCs expressed their passion for assisting clients to make meaningful differences in their clients’ lives. A comment such as “supporting people in recognizing and stepping into their own greatness” was typical of this finding.

Secondly, through the changes clients made in their own life, CPCCs felt they, themselves, were living their passion and doing what they loved – Co-Activity, quite literally. In the same vein, the connection and real sense of partnership coaches experienced with clients fueled CPCCs’ desire to continue to coach. For example, one Co-Active coach said, “connecting deeply with another individual for the purpose of them finding their joy and fulfillment” was something that brought real pleasure to that coach.

Fourth, the CPCCs expressed their gratitude for the autonomy afforded them as a true benefit of being a coach. “I appreciate having the flexibility to coach wherever I am, allowing me to pursue other unique opportunities, and to coach people from all over the world,” said one CPCC.

Intriguingly, we found that CPCCs genuinely enjoyed using their skill sets to make a difference in clients’ lives. Whether they used only the tools and techniques provided by the Co-Active Model or as a complement to previous training, CPCCs pinpointed their skill set as a lynchpin to providing them with the opportunity to co-create positive change with their clients.

The very clear finding from the study was the overwhelming number of responses that reflected CPCCs fascination with and passion for Co-Active coaching. In turn, this zeal translates into a profound commitment to being a coach which, in turn, may contribute to coaching’s success as an effective intervention for clients who struggle with behavior change. True to the intent of the Co-Active model of coaching, a number of the themes presented in this paper reflect the client-centered collaboration between coach and client. The literature regarding behavior change stresses the importance of empowering patients/clients in their change processes. Truly listening to clients and involving them in creating solutions to/toward their issues/goals is one way to enable clients to find solutions that will actually work. When individuals feel they are involved actively in their change process, they are more likely to maintain their chosen changes, a key factor in sustaining desired behaviors.

The full study (published February 2012) is available here. The researchers were all from The University of Western Ontario, London, Ontario, Canada: Dr. Courtney Newnham-Kanas, Dr. Don Morrow and Dr. Jennifer Irwin.

Are Pat Robertson and I the only ones who have noticed that the war on drugs is a big flop?

That’s right, folks. A few weeks ago, televangelist and ultra-conservative Pat Robertson created quite a flap by stating that the U.S. should legalize marijuana. This declaration runs counter to the political and religious view that Robertson has held for most of his career…What gives?

Well, the data is rather definitive. Currently, the U.S. has 760 prisoners per 100,000 citizens (up from around 150 in 1980). Japan has 63. Germany has 90 and France has 96. Even those countries well known for drug cartels have fewer. Mexico, for instance, has 208, fewer than a third of the U.S.

So how are we managing to incarcerate so many of our citizens? And why is that number increasing so dramatically? You got it – the war on drugs. In 2009, more Americans were arrested on drug charges than for assault, the vast majority for simple possession.

I saw so much of this when I delivered coach training to inmates in Colorado and San Quentin. Some of the men that I worked with had done very bad things I imagine, however the vast majority were there because of stupid mistakes they had made in their youth and because they were the wrong color in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yes, they had broken the law… and I question whether their punishment was commensurate with their crime.

One particularly heart-breaking day, I had a conversation with a particularly bright inmate who was serving a 40-year sentence for selling marijuana. Three strikes and you’re out. I returned to my hotel room to read an article in a local paper about a man who had murdered his wife with an axe. His sentence: 18 years. There’s something wrong with this picture!

Not only are we spending huge amounts of money on this “war” (since 1972, the U.S. has spent over $1 trillion on the war on drugs), we are spending a small fortune to warehouse all these criminals. In California, a state very much in need of shaking the money tree, a college student costs the state $8,667 per year; an inmate costs the state $45,000.

And why? Tons of studies show that incarceration just doesn’t work. I remember a conversation I had a while ago with Reuel Hunt, who’s done a great deal of work inside prisons. Reuel put it well: “So there’s a monkey in the jungle who’s having a rough time with the other monkeys. He’s scratching and spitting and not going with the flow. You take the monkey out of the jungle and lock him up for 20 years. Then, you release him back into the jungle and expect his behavior to be different.”

I understand that it’s important to have laws to live peacefully together…Co-Active conversation only goes so far and it’s useful to have clear agreements with consequences for breaking those agreements.

And one of the things that is central to Co-Active is to notice what is going on “present time”.  To be able to say “it’s not working. What do we need to do differently?”

I, Pat Robertson and most of the known universe know that the war on drugs is not working. What do we need to do differently?

The ocean is glittering in the sun outside my office window and I’ve had a bit of time to reflect on what I most want to share from my time on the road with Meet the New Co-Active Model.  Over the course of the past several months, we’ve traveled to L.A., Toronto, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Chicago, New York, Boston,  Washington D.C., Atlanta, London, Oslo and Amsterdam.  All in all, we have met the new Co-Active Model with almost 1,400 of our global Co-Active community all around the world. 

It was quite an experience working with that many people in such rapid succession.  Each one- day event served to expand the resonance of the Co-Active model and deepen my understanding of what we really mean when we say “Co-Active”. 

So what is the definition of Co-Active?  Over the years,  we have resisted the many requests to create a definition of Co-Active because we didn’t want to create something dogmatic.  However, through this iterative process of many conversations with our amazing CTI faculty and all of you at  Meet the Model, I feel we have arrived at a definition that is simple and yet broad enough to represent Co-Active appropriately.

Basically, Co-Active represents the paradoxical balance between two primary energies of life:

Co:  Relationship, holding, space, BEING
Hyphen:  Non-duality, PARADOX
Active:  Action, certainty, clarity, DOING

We are always in this balance and often we are far out of balance. In some cases, we are far over on the “Co” side. This is a place where we are not able to fully bring our ideas into reality and where we can’t quite find clear boundaries. Sometimes we are backing away from our purpose and from the courage that it takes to act. Other times we are being “co” dependent – so focused on relationship and what others think that we lose our sense of self and right action. 

Other times we swing far over onto the “Active” side, running like hamsters on a wheel, frantically dominated by our “to do” list and yet disconnected from any sense of meaning or relationship. This is often a hallmark of large organizations, where focus can be on results at all costs and our interconnectedness is sometimes pushed aside for profit.   

 The part of Co-Active that makes it so dynamic and alive is not the “Co” or the “Active”. It’s the hyphen in the middle. The paradox. The “both and” rather than the “either/or”.

 We human beings are not very good at paradox…we so want to know, to succeed and have it all figured out. Yet, it is the embracing of this paradoxical dance between doing and being that is the key to mastery.  It is only when we can embrace paradox that we are truly open to the Mystery and the larger creativity and expansion that is a hallmark of mastery.

 So how do we “get” Co-Active? How do we grow and develop our own ability to be Co-Active in our lives?

1. Develop a relationship with your life purpose, understanding that you are here for a reason provides a foundation for action from meaning, from deep inside oneself.
2. Learn to live in the question. Practice wondering rather than knowing.
3. Grow your ability to act with certainty and clarity without attachment.  In the beginning, it’s kind of like patting your head and rubbing your belly… and your facility will grow over time.
4. Understand that every single person in your life is there to teach you something. Stay wildly curious about what that might be. Practice gratitude and appreciation of that teaching, even when and especially when you don’t like what that person is doing.
5. Open to your emotions. They are the gas in our engine. They connect us to ourselves and each other and provide the fire to move forward in expansive ways.
6. Becoming comfortable with the dramatic tension between choice and knowing that there are infinite possibilities.
7. Learn to listen to the wisdom of your heart and follow its whisperings.
8. Practice being fascinated by people and by life.
9. Connect with nature. Everything we need to know about Co-Active already exists in the natural world. Spend time being in nature and notice what is unfolding all around you.
10. If things get tangled, return to relationship and context. Usually things get off kilter because we’ve forgotten about the being. When we are connected to why we are doing things, the things we are doing flow clearly.

By 2001, I had spent all of my first 30 years in life doing what society expected of me: I had the education, job, husband, mortgage, kids…and I was miserable. I had done my part to be a good citizen and I expected to be happy in return. To my surprise, it didn’t work out that way. I was stressed, busy and unhappy in my own little rat race. So I decided to make a bold decision: To be happy.

Rikke Ebel Nielsen

When I set my goal, I didn’t even think it was possible, but at least I would die trying.  Since I was an electronic engineer with 13 years of experience in IT, I decided to design a happiness system. I worked hard and long on my analysis and was very impressed with my results and findings. As I began to implement my process, I decided to pass on my knowledge by giving workshops.

At my first one, to my surprise, I discovered that people talk a lot about unhappiness at happiness workshops and it can get very emotional. I had no clue how to handle that. I realized that happiness is an emotion, so to be really happy, I had to let myself be emotional and learn to be with other people’s emotions. That led me to CTI, where I could discover how to be with others when they go through the ugly parts – the grief, jealousy, fear, anger, resentment…and all the emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant.

Lucky for me, a passionate soul, Co-Active Coach Gonan Premfors, had started up a branch of CTI in Dubai where I was living. There was a whole module in Co-Active Coach Training devoted to practicing being with my own and others’ difficult feelings. In “Process”, I  learned a valuable lesson that I am using every day: Emotions are not dangerous. We can go deep into fear and grief and still come out on the other side and be able to feel joy, bliss, fulfillment, aliveness, awe, serenity, hope, fun, excitement and happiness again.

Another unexpected gift from the coach training was how it evoked transformation in my own life: It was the start of the healing of my troubled marriage and my accepting the stamp “housewife” in my passport.

Since then, I have delivered many workshops in Dubai, touched many lives and been touched by many lives. Something that happens when people become more positive is they believe more in themselves, they see more possibilities and they take more action. It becomes an upward spiral that creates flourishing, resilience and abundance…in a word, happiness!

 I have found the most happiness by watching others transform from the inside out. One day, Hannah, an American expatriate, came to one of my workshops and enjoyed it so much that she became a regular every two weeks. She said in her crazy world, we made her feel sane. She started to get in shape, go dancing and get happier. Then one day, she told us that soon she would not be coming anymore because she decided to escape her abusive Jordanian husband and move back to the U.S. She had told him she was going on vacation to visit her family but she left, never to return to Dubai.

Rikke leading a happiness workshop.

We are still in contact with Hannah and she is alive, thriving and well. She said she wouldn’t have been able to take that step without the strength and resilience she mustered from our workshops to just leave with her son, without a job, money or a home. She just knew things would turn out for the best. Hannah is an inspiration to us all for her courage to be happy. Her thank-you letters make my whole journey worthwhile.

Rikke Ebel Nielsen B.Sc. designs and delivers inspiring workshops on happiness worldwide. A mother of three, she is the co-founder and leader of Danish Business Women in Dubai. Reach her at rikkeebel@gmail.com and www.createspaceforhappiness.com.

Michele McHall, CPCC, holds a Masters Degree in Depth Psychology from Pacific Graduate Institute and is a Master Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation. Michele served on the faculty for the Coaches Training Institute from 2001-2010. She is the author of The Soul’s Dream: A Journey of Intentional Transformation Parts 1 and 2, and currently works with individuals and teams to tap into the brilliance of their Whole IQ, or the inherent strengths within their Spirit, Heart, Mind, and Body intelligences. www.WholeIQ.com

We’re BAAAAAACK! Henry and I just returned home after a whirlwind 18-day tour of the East Coast and Europe, delivering one-day Meet the New Co-Active Model Workshops all over the place. We got to hang out with over 700 people from the CTI community! What loving, accomplished, funny, wise people you are!

Henry and Karen tour DC

Because of our Black Lodge training, it has been seven years since Henry and I have been able to spend his actual birthday together because March 22 is the summer solstice which is a very important time for these teachings. We decided to celebrate by spending Henry’s birthday week being tourists in Washington DC. It was my first visit to DC…what an imposing, beautiful and interesting city!

We managed to finagle a tour of the West Wing (I saw the REAL Oval Office!) and bopped around the Mall on Segways visiting all the monuments. I loved spending time at the Lincoln Memorial; the FDR memorial was my favorite.

The cherry blossoms cooperated by blooming three weeks early, thank you very much. The weather was glorious and the tidal basin was simply stunning…blue sky and water and hundreds and hundreds of cherry trees in full bloom.

The Segways were a blast! Sort of a combination skateboard and high-tech scooter, they are electric and have all kinds of complex balancing mechanisms that I don’t begin to understand. They are so EASY to ride, kind of fluid and very responsive. Several times I was sure that my Seg was reading my mind! Very Co-Active!

Crow war pony by Kennard Real Bird (Crow). "A Song for the Horse Nation" exhibition.

We visited many of the free museums. All were wonderful and the best was the new National Museum of the American Indian. So beautifully done. Everything in the museum is curved and round, no edges anywhere. An extensive collection of American Indian artifacts form the backdrop for the cultural histories and stories of a breathtaking range of Native American and South American tribes. The best part, however, is how the stories are told. Each tribal grouping is narrated and arranged by a collection of current tribal elders so they all are slightly different and yet thematically connected. All of the histories were told with such love and such respect. The stories of the coalition of elders for each tribe were as interesting as the artifacts themselves. It was clear that there was great pride in what was being created and gratitude that tribal history and culture would live on in the hearts and minds of visitors to the museum.

After about four hours, we walked back out into the DC sunshine and cherry blossoms, inspired by this shining example of Co-Activity in action and reminded of what is possible when people are aligned around a common stake and then trusted to create in ways that are most meaningful to them.

The day my company announced they were selling our division, my heart clenched and my throat dried up. What if there isn’t a role for me? What will I do? How will the kids go to college? I went crashing to a negative place of sharp glass and fear. My Sir Security gremlin cracked out his chain whip and threw a shadow over me. I started the downward spiral.

The next day, I had my monthly meeting with friend and fellow coach (I’ll resist saying this was amazing Co-Activity from the universe). “Gremlin, Kathleen?” she asked, calmly, all the time in the world. Her intuition cleared my brain. She leaned into our alliance of speaking the truth and her redirection was magic. Suddenly I had possibility: What if I made up the next stage of my life – how I wanted it to be?

That weekend, I started to write a business book about how I changed careers from global IT management into coaching…blah, blah, blah. Then, I realized the message I needed to share was the impact of coaching. Let people feel the impact, see change in others and realize they too can have this gift. It was showing the “red thread” that coaching can have in one’s life and to those around them – that was my story.

On March 1st, five years after I started writing, I published a novel, What If You Made it Up?  It has a strong coaching theme (the heroine is a life coach), weaves in the impact of personal choice mixed with eclectic relationships, Wyoming, dogs and mystery. The story has chapters that are coaching sessions and an epilogue that shows the actions coachees took as a result of their coaching. It also illustrates how we all “make stuff up” for different reasons and how that affects our lives.

In this process of bringing my story to the world, I learned to lean in to Co-Activity even more. Aside from making up what I want next, some of my lessons were:

• It’s not about me. Once I simmered down, I had space to think. This opened me up to reach out to find possibilities by observing others around me. Asking for feedback and opinions in writers’ and coaching groups offered perspective.
• Humble myself and ask for help. As an independent, reasonably intelligent woman, my “ask” muscles needed shaping up. Asking for help led me to an amazing editor. Without her, there would be no book. And, as a result of my novel, she started her own publishing company to work with authors like myself. This process of writing, reviewing, editing and publishing required expertise that I didn’t have in my quiver. 
• Search for the right alliance. Some people weren’t interested in my success in my quest to publish the story. I was taken advantage of, led on, dismissed. Once I leaned into knowledge that there were the right colleagues out there, I was able to forge ahead.
• Put aside judgment. Certain people had me in a box that they didn’t want changed. By sticking to my goals, surrounding myself with those who did support me, I could move forward without judging those who didn’t have the same dreams for me.

Kathleen Kolze works for a global corporation in the area of talent development. Coaches could recommend What if You Made It Up? to people who want to understand coaching better while enjoying a good story. When not writing or ballroom dancing, she works with employees to promotes their growth in client-facing behaviors of presentation, communication and sales – along with being a life and executive coach. She always wants to bring in the question of possibilities for those around her and never tires of being curious about what might be. Kathleen is reachable at ksk326@comcast.net or her website www.kathleenkolze.com.

Must have my mind on education lately…last night I was reading a recent Time Magazine and an article on bullying in our schools caught my eye. Entitled “The Myths of Bullying”, author John Cloud presents a very interesting case for the way in which we have overreacted to the issue of bullying.  As a result of several high profile cases, bullying has become something of a political hot potato with a predictable groundswell of new legislation making it imperative to report all instances of bullying, no matter how mild. There! Take that, you bullies!

But wait a minute, says Cloud. The issue is just not that simple. It’s challenging, he reports, to really tell the bullies from their victims. Often the boundaries blur and children are both bullies and victims.  According to Cloud, in many instances, current legislation serves to perpetuate, rather than correct the behavior. Not only is the legislation ineffective, it is also expensive, with anti-bullying consultants charging schools huge amounts of money for training and guidance to ensure that educators comply with new legislation. 

I’m in complete agreement with Cloud and applaud him for speaking out so frankly on a touchy issue.  It’s difficult to legislate how we treat each other, no matter how much we might wish we could. In the rush to control behavior, we seem to skip over the most important part which is why. Why do children bully each other? What are the conditions that foster and encourage this behavior? What would happen if we slowed down a little bit and took a look at the underlying issues rather than trying to control?

The way in which we treat our children in our schools might have something to do with it. If I were forced to sit at a desk in a row all day long, I might be ready to be a very big bully. If I did not feel safe at school or in the world, I could see how I would want to be sure that I attacked first. And if I had been carefully taught that coughing up the right answer was where it was at, it stands to reason that I would make sure that I stayed at the head of the pack.

I don’t propose to have the answer to bullying…it’s a very complex issue. I do wonder how and where our children learn that behavior and I wonder about the conditions that foster it. I recall seeing a YouTube clip where a group of people staged mock hazing on the sidewalk. Groups of men and or women were chained on their knees. Sometimes they were hosed down or forced to drink large quantities of what looked to be alcohol (actually colored water). One girl had her shirt rolled up to just below her bra line and a large red circle was drawn on her abdomen with arrows pointing to the words “I am worthless, fat pig.” This staged hazing was an experiment to see if bystanders would intervene. Even when the behavior became totally abusive and outlandish, most people passing by either ignored the behavior or moved to the other side of the street. 

With things like hazing considered normal and appropriate and with violence rampant in movies, TV and video games, is it any wonder our children bully each other? And perhaps the true issue lies not only with the bullies but with the bystanders who watch it and do nothing.  

There is not enough legislation in this whole wide world that will shift our ability to care about each other and to act on behalf of respect and dignity – the essence of Co-Active. Until we learn to be both –  “co”, deeply connected to our relatedness, and “active”, willing to stand up for what we believe in – things will not change. Our children learn so much by our example. What are we teaching them?

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society which honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

– Albert Einstein

I love this quote by Albert Einstein. In just a few words, he points right to the heart of where our public education system falls very short, at least here in the U.S.

Public education came of age right on the heels of the industrial revolution. Workers were needed – workers who had some education, could follow instructions, didn’t ask that many questions and generally knew how to behave. Public schools became a place where children were trained to be good citizens. We learned to sit calmly in rows, to follow instructions, to study hard and to make sure that we knew the right answer. We learned that when we did know the right answer, we should put our hand in the air very high and when we did not, we should look at our desks and hope that the teacher would not call on us.

Photo by Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I had some difficulty in my journey through public education. I asked “why?!””far too often for my teachers’ tastes and my files stated that I was bright and precocious but something of a discipline problem. This turned out to be a massive understatement. Math proved to be a particular challenge. I did not care for odd numbers (heaven only knows why!) and, in second grade, took great care to have my sums all add up to be even numbers with predictable results.

At some point in the past, it might have been useful to warehouse our children in large educational institutions so that they could become good citizens. In the complex and ever-changing landscape of our current world, we need new skills. We need to be able to think creatively and laterally and problem-solve based on real-time information rather than historical or memorized data and structures. In order to resolve the challenges that face us, we must move beyond what we think we know and become comfortable with paradox, intuition and the vast wisdom that is available to us beyond our rational mind. 

The rational brain is a useful organ, a highly functioning computer that organizes and provides specific data. However, as Einstein so elegantly states above, we have given it the wrong job. The rational brain’s job is to serve, not to lead. By remaining stuck in our need to make sense of everything, we have become cut off from the vast intelligence available from our intuitive mind, our bodies and our hearts.

In my work with people, both inside organizations and in our Co-Active courses, I find that generally people are very conditioned to avoid failure at any cost. This need to nail the right answer and avoid failure comes at an incredibly high cost. All too often, for the sake of looking good and getting it right, we sacrifice our aliveness, our unique creativity and brilliance and our capacity to generate outside-the-box solutions as we wait for someone else to “go” and be the first one to look foolish.

I have done my share of “unlearning” and all around me I see people reclaiming the whole of their native and collective intelligence. But what if we didn’t have to unlearn these unhelpful patterns that we have been taught?

What if education was truly about learning rather than memorization? What if schools were a place where young people discovered not only how to read and write, but why to read and write. Where they discovered what mattered to them about education. What if education began first with meaning, with purpose, and then moved on to the other stuff? Most importantly, what if schools were a place where children learned to cherish their humanity rather than be ashamed of it?

We are in the information age where data and content is available with the click of a mouse. Now it is time to support our children in learning how to think, how to feel and how to stand for what they believe in. Not as an afterthought or an extracurricular activity but right at the core, at the center of all that occurs.

I know incredible work is being done in education these days and many dedicated teachers do their very best to generate learning within an educational system that is seriously out of date. Also, there are many schools (Waldorf comes to mind) that do a terrific job of serving and nourishing the whole human being. However, these opportunities are generally available to a wealthy few, with the vast majority of our children being educated to past tests so that we will have “no child left behind”.  This might be called education, but it doesn’t have much to do with learning.  

It takes patience and great dedication to create a true learning environment. While the format at CTI might not be for everyone, I’m very proud of the way in which we have created contextually based, experientially driven transformative learning. Because transformative is what I believe learning truly is. It’s not about being able to regurgitate information. True learning changes us.

Don't talk to me, Saboteur!

If that doesn’t work, there is always this…

Of course, it always helps to have a Co-Active coach!

The co-founder of BEabove Leadership, Ann Betz CPCC is a Co-Active coach, Co-Active Leadership graduate, CTI Certification Pod Leader, poet and international workshop leader, known for her ability to bring cutting-edge theory to life with fun, engaging processes and practical tools. She serves as a consultant to CTI on the neuroscience of coaching and writes an engaging blog, Your Coaching Brain. She currently resides in Minneapolis, Minnesota.