The Co-Active Cornerstones Series - 2 of 4

This article series, authored by CTI faculty members, is a review of four major themes of the Co-active Model.

Co-Active Coaching Addresses the Client's Whole Life
By Nick Martin

My sister's cat only has three legs. It hasn't always been that way, but a recent infection necessitated an amputation. To the casual observer, Elvis is still a fully-functioning feline. He can still out-run his twin sister. He can still climb onto the garage roof. And yet there are now things that are beyond his reach that never used to be. Butterflies, for example, are very hard to catch when you only have one front paw.

So, what does Elvis have to tell us about this particular cornerstone of Co-active Coaching?

Sometimes we cut ourselves off from parts of our lives. Sometimes this is conscious, sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is a deliberate act, as in the case of a client who refuses even to give a score to the Significant Other / Romance segment of the wheel of life because it is too painful to look at. Sometimes it is just casual neglect, like when someone's Career has become so all-consuming that Fun and Recreation has been forgotten. Many clients come to coaching because there is a particular issue that they want to work on. As coaches, we owe it to our clients not to take this at face value. In other words, we look for the Big Agenda behind the little agenda, and for the patterns that recur in different areas of our clients' lives.

For example, a self-employed client takes on a coach because he wants to work on his business. During the coaching, it becomes apparent that issues to do with his relationship with his wife keep coming up. He may say that he does not want to talk about this and yet it won't go away.

As the coach, I have a choice. I could collude with my client, and whenever the tricky subject of his marriage comes up, gently steer him back to the safe territory of work, which is what he hired me for.

Alternatively, I could be curious, and say to him, "I notice that our sessions start on the subject of your business, but we almost always seem to come back to your marriage. What is the connection?"

The two areas are probably inextricably linked, and neither of them will be satisfactorily resolved if coach and client avoid one of them. As it says in the Co-Active Coaching book, the decisions we make are interconnected, there are links between all the discrete departments of our lives. Nearly every choice exists in a system of possible choices stretching into other areas of life.

If you are a coach or training as a coach is there a consistent theme that your clients keep presenting, that reflects your own blind spots? If you choose to recognize this, then it provides you with a fantastic opportunity to self manage, and consider if you are walking your talk as a coach.

If you are not a coach, what areas of your life do you already know that you are neglecting? If you're not sure, try giving each area of your life - physical environment; career; money; health; friends and family; significant other/romance; personal growth; fun and recreation - a score out of 10, then see which areas would score the lowest marks.

I believe that we are all on a search for peace. In a world that is anything but peaceful, we come up with all sorts of strategies to give ourselves that peace. All too often denial forms the basis of these strategies. Up to a point, this works, but in fact it only provides a temporary, and uneasy, truce. Eventually the thing we can't be with will show up again, staring us in the face, and the internal hostilities will resume. I assert that true peace comes not from running away from the discomfort, but from accepting it, embracing it, and integrating it.

Part of our job as coaches, then, is to hold the torch for our clients, to shine a light on the shadowy parts of their lives, and support them in finding the gift in the parts of their lives that they ignore. Elvis will never get his leg back. My brother-in-law is unlikely to sanction the expense of a prosthetic cat limb, even if such things exist. I don't like to admit this, but I am not sure that coaching a cat would ever really work. On the other hand, your clients have you to support them, so they are in a much better state than Elvis. .


About Nick Martin, MSc, CPCC
Following a first career as a chartered accountant with one of the major accounting firms, Nick Martin has been working in training and development since 1994. As a trainer he works with leaders in organizations from local charities to large multinationals. As a coach he works with owners of small businesses, and with people with brains who are realizing that they have a body and emotions as well. His vision is of a world where we live more lightly with one another and with our planet.

Co-active Cornerstones, Part 4: The Agenda Comes from the Client

Co-active Cornerstones, Part 3: The Coach Dances in the Moment with the Client

Co-active Cornerstones, Part 1: The Client is Naturally Creative, Resourceful, and Whole