The Co-Active Cornerstones Series – 4 of 4

This article series, authored by CTI faculty members, is a review of four major themes of the Co-active Model.

The Agenda Comes from the Client
By Roxane Loiseaux

The subtlety of this cornerstone is that there are different layers to the client’s agenda, just like an onion. But unlike cooking, where there’s not always an onion in every recipe, in coaching there is, because the onion is the agenda and you do use it. Every time.

The conversation you have with your client is about the onion they bring to the session, in plain words, the topic they want to talk about, whatever that is: the leak in the sink, the argument they have just had with their manager, the death of their best friend, even “I don’t know what to bring to the coaching”.

As a coach, you must be open and ready for anything, and for that you need the five contexts of coaching. You self-manage, i.e. you don’t listen to the voice in your head that says “how boring this topic is”, “I can’t handle that”, “this is just like me”

Your listening will be tuned at Level 2, with your attention fully on your client. Energetically, at Level 3, you might hear frustration, tiredness, a door slamming in the background. You become curious and ask what this is really about? You let your intuition come in and you share what this topic brings up for you, and let it go.

The paradox is that the “little ‘a’ agenda” (for example, the leak in the sink) is what comes explicitly from the client and is actually the first layer of, and therefore the way into, the “Big A Agenda”, that you are holding as the coach.

In co-active coaching, we hold that the Big ‘A’ Agenda is the same for everyone, it just takes different forms for different people. To live a fulfilling life, in alignment with your values (Fulfilment); to be conscious about the choices you make, as opposed to being a victim of circumstances (Balance); and to be fully present and engaged in all dimensions of your life (Process). As the coach, you are holding all layers of the agenda - actually it is the very same onion!

By peeling the onion, you get your client to deepen the learning and forward the action. Having explored the Big ‘A’ Agenda (honoring a value of harmony for example) your client decides what s/he is going to do about the little ‘a’ agenda (the leak in the sink) in a much more meaningful and decisive way.

So you don’t want to spend too long looking at the outside layer of this onion because your client knows all about it already. You want to peel it or even cut through it and get the juice out of it (possibly with tears!), which is what gives more flavour to your client’s life (juice and tears!).

You can do that using powerful questions, from any of the three coaching principles. Using the same example of our fictitious “leak in the sink” agenda:

‘Client, which value are you stepping over by not having the sink repaired for over 2 weeks? (Fulfilment)’

‘It sounds as if you are standing in a place of “being punished for not being at home enough”, how about stepping in the perspective of “the child who plays” - what is possible from here?’ (Balance)

‘What is it like to feel incompetent?’ (Process)

Coaches in training may find it useful to remember to spend only about 5% of the session looking at the onion (little ‘a’ agenda), then 90% peeling it (Big ‘A’ Agenda) and come back to the little ‘a’ agenda for the last 5%, when it is about action or further reflection and accountability.

More experienced coaches can cut right through to the core of the onion by intruding sooner and being bolder, for the sake of their client of course and therefore serving their own Big ‘A’ Agenda as coaches.

And for everyone; next time a friend, colleague etc. wants to talk to you, really listen for what they are actually saying and stay with it, make it about them, about their big ‘A’ agenda, not about you. Notice the impact on these people as you are allowing them to talk about what is important to them.

Roxane Loiseaux, MA, CPCC
Through her business, The-Gift-of-Coaching, Roxane works as a trainer and coach with senior executives in multinational corporations and directors of small companies. She supports individuals in aligning their lives by integrating the personal and the professional. Roxane’s intent is for individuals to invest in themselves and in their lives, and by doing so, to contribute to the various systems they belong to—families, communities, organizations—to co-create a more sustainable future now.

Co-active Cornerstones, Part 3: The Coach Dances in the Moment with the Client

Co-active Cornerstones, Part 2: Co-Active Coaching Addresses the Client's Whole Life

Co-active Cornerstones, Part 1: The Client is Naturally Creative, Resourceful, and Whole