Marin coaches ‘Say It Forward’ to help others

By Dawn Stranne
San Rafael News Pointer, Sept 11 – 17, 2008
Ross Valley Reporter, Sept 11 – 17, 2008
Twin City Times, Sept 11 – 17, 2008
Mill Valley Herald, Sept 18 – 24, 2008

A successful art director was on the verge of a career meltdown. A husband and wife saw their business reaching an uncomfortable plateau. A mother's relationship with her daughter was moving from bad to worse with no reconciliation in sight. And, a baby boomer couldn't envision buying her dream home in a sliding economy. These are just a few examples of people helped recently by some of Marin's top life and executive coaches who trained at the Coaches Training Institute (CTI) in San Rafael.

Now that many people are facing challenges due to the economy, Karen Kimsey-House, CEO and co-founder of CTI in San Rafael, expects CTI's Marin-based graduates to be more in demand than ever. Recently, Kimsey-House has seen an upsurge in interest by individuals looking to become life and executive coaches. And several businesses in Marin recently signed on for CTI's Internal Co-Active Coaching Program, which trains key personnel in coaching skills.

"There's never a better time to have an executive or life coach than now," said Kimsey-House. "It's important to become proactive, nimble and resourceful. Coaching can help you figure out exactly what you are capable of doing and see what's possible."

With that in mind, CTI will hold a free seminar Tue., Oct. 7, introducing basic coaching skills.

"In this tough economic climate, people actually need to take risks to make the changes that will really have them feel fulfilled in all aspects of their life," said Athena Katsaros, founder of IdeaTribe (ideatribe.com) in San Anselmo and a CTI instructor. "Fear is one of the main obstacles that prevent people from living the lives they want to live. When people hire a life coach, it's an act of courage - they're declaring they're ready to change and do things differently."

Michele McHall, master certified coach and founder of Coaching for Creative Change in Larkspur, suggests that because of the downshifting economy and other social factors, it has become much harder for professionals to slow down and take the time to really engage others deeply. The most common excuse people give these days is lack of time, according to McHall.

"I work with very busy individuals who don't necessarily have the time to see a coach in person," said Katsaros. "So 90 percent of my coaching is done over the phone. It works and it is such a privilege to help people tune into their inspiration and to create lives that they love. Through coaching, people can identify the obstacles that are getting in their way and move through them."

McHall, who has worked with a number of entrepreneurs and people changing careers, agrees that a big part of helping her clients is working with them to acknowledge their contribution to the lives of others and vice versa.

"Particularly in times like these, people have a need to be recognized for how they uniquely make a difference in the lives of others," said McHall. "I work to help my clients acknowledge what they really want in life and recognize the true roles others play in helping them achieve."

Hoping to encourage everyone to acknowledge others and create more meaningful relationships, CTI has launched "Say It Forward," a goodwill campaign inspired by the expression "Pay It Forward." The campaign promotes individuals acknowledging the contributions of others in their lives.

CTI is distributing free packs of eight colorful Say It Forward cards, each labeled with words and phrases, such as "Generosity," "Authenticity" and "Accountability." There are also blank cards that provide individuals the space to jot down their experiences and pass them along to others.

Kimsey-House hopes the cards will inspire people around the globe to acknowledge the impact that friends, family members and co-workers have on their lives. Since CTI's graduates include many executives from Fortune 500 companies and thousands of professional certified coaches around the world, the Say It Forward campaign is likely to have a big impact.

Stephanie Lovinger, a CTI-trained life coach since 2001, credits her mother for realizing her potential and "saying it forward" early in her career.

"I got into life coaching because of my mom," said Lovinger. "She sent an article about coaching to me saying, ‘This is you, honey!' I was already focused on helping people realize what was possible, so I saved the article and eventually went back to it as a profession. Her words really rang true for my life."

Lovinger stressed the importance of coaches helping their clients through affirmation and positive reinforcement, allowing them to draw their own conclusions about what they truly want to accomplish. "Part of my client's growth is dependent on them acknowledging their true qualities, particularly those that they take for granted," said Lovinger. "I help them connect these qualities with what they really want in life, while allowing them to fan the flames of how much they see as possible."

Trudy Kendall of Touchstone Coaching in San Anselmo is an advocate of "championing" - what CTI calls acknowledging someone's true qualities - and encourages her clients to practice deeper listening. "Most people listen on the surface," said Kendall. In her work with mothers and daughters who have disconnected, Kendall notices a lack of true listening as one of the biggest culprits.

"I worked with a mother who had a terrible relationship with her daughter," said Kendall. It became so bad that the daughter eventually ran away from home. "After really taking time to listen to one another, we recognized that the mom wanted to be friends with her daughter; however, her daughter needed a mom who could set boundaries and rules. Once they acknowledged that and began to work on it, their relationship blossomed."

Kendall suggested that listening deeply is a key trait coaches need in order to be successful.

"Prior to coaching, I was working in management at a large corporation, and was constantly frustrated by the limitations in the conversations I would have with people," she said. "I had a desire to go deeper and learn more about people. With coaching, I get to be curious about my clients and fulfill my desire to really listen to them."

While many people continue to hire life coaches in order to gain a true listener's support, the misconception remains that the job of a life coach is to provide a step-by-step manual for reaching a goal. Mill Valley's Patrick Ryan, founder of Awakened Wisdom (awakenedwisdom.com) and CTI instructor, refrains from simply "coaching a client's goal."

"Many of my clients had lost sight of the bigger picture and needed help restrategizing and revisioning what it is they truly want," said Ryan. "In the end, satisfaction comes from the quality of work and the experience, which has more of an impact than just reaching the goal."

According to Sausalito's Caroline Hall, a senior executive coach for Mac Advisors, a good coach listens deeply without giving advice and without trying to make it better. Coaches learn to ask probing questions so that people have a chance to take a breath and hear themselves think about what they want to create, who they want to be and how to move from Point A to Point B in a way that doesn't make them crazy.

"Coaching is a profession where you can bring together a lot of your passionate interests at the same time," said Hall, "and it can be an excellent career for somebody who wants to work from home, as your time is your own to schedule."

For anyone looking to become a life or executive coach or to learn about how to use coaching skills in daily life, a free seminar will be held Tue., Oct. 7, 2008, 7 to 8:30 p.m., at the Coaches Training Institute, 4000 Civic Center Drive, Suite 500, in San Rafael. To reserve a seat, call 451-6000. See TheCoaches.com for more details about CTI.

Reference: Marin Coaches ‘Say it Forward’ to Help Others
http://www.marinscope.com/newspointer/detail_page.php?rdate=2008-09-25 15:42:34&pcode=MVH&scode=Cn1&ldate=2008-03-27 16:08:27